If you know a new mom, you’ve probably had the decency to offer some help. Many moms are too polite and refuse offers of help, even though they need it. But you can help anyway! It’s all about how you phrase the question.
Don’t ask “What can I do for you?” Instead, be specific. Ask “I’m stopping at the supermarket and then coming past your house. What do you need?” Or try “I want to take your older kids to the movies. Can I pick them up at three?” This takes the pressure off mom so she doesn’t feel like she’s leaning too hard on other people.
Try some of these methods to help out a new mom.
1. Cook something – With a newborn in the house, moms rarely have time to get dressed, let alone make a meal. Prepare something that can be cooked or reheated easily, like soups, stews, or slow cooker meals.
2. Run some errands – Every mom has a short list of errands that need running; things to pick up, things to drop off, etc. Let her know where you’re going and ask what she needs.
3. Visit with the baby when it’s not nap time – Naps are the only breaks new moms get, so leave her in peace during these times. Ask when baby is usually awake and drop by then so you can entertain the baby while mom takes a shower or a nap or whatever she wants.
4. Tidy the kitchen – The household of any new parent is usually a wreck, but the kitchen is the only one that shouldn’t stay dirty. Don’t ask if you can help, because everyone will say “Oh don’t worry, I’ll take care of that.” Just start cleaning.
5. Occupy the older kids – If mom has other kids in the 2-10 range, get them out of the house for a while. You don’t have to do anything special with them, just take them out, even if it’s just to your house or a walk around the neighborhood.
6. Do something non-parenting related – After a month of being a parent to a newborn, moms would like to put it out of their head for a few hours here and there. Invite mom out at a time when dad or grandma/grandpa can watch the baby and don’t talk about babies.
7. Respect her distance – If you’re getting signals that your mom friend truly doesn’t want help, give her some space without making it about you. Check in from time to time to see how she’s doing. Once she’s gotten through the first six months, things settle down significantly and she might be ready to rekindle relationships.
When you were a new mom, what is something you wish your friends and family did for you?
Written by Stephanie Parker from SleepingBaby.com, inventors of the Zipadee-Zip
The motto for Sleeping Baby, makers of the Zipadee-Zip, is: "Inspiring Dreams One Night at A time," and that, in a nutshell, is how it all started…with one little dream that has since become the Parker family's reality. When Brett and Stephanie Parker's daughter, Charlotte, was born, the feeling that welled up inside of them was indescribable; they never realized until first looking into those baby blues of hers that they were even capable of that kind of love.
When it was time to transition baby from swaddling, the Parkers tried every sleep sack on the market and every swaddle weaning trick they could find for nearly two weeks and nothing worked to get baby Charlotte to fall and stay asleep.
Stephanie became determined to restore sleep and sanity to their household and set out to find a solution that would soothe Charlotte's startle reflex and provide her the cozy womb-like environment she loved so much but still give her the freedom to roll over and wiggle around in her crib safely. Out of sheer desperation and exhaustion, the Zipadee-Zip was born. The first Zipadee-Zip(R) Stephanie put together on her little sewing machine worked like magic!
To date tens of thousands of Zipadee-Zips have been sold and all from word-of-mouth marketing. It is so rewarding for the Parkers to see other parents and babies getting the sleep they both need and deserve!
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